Weddings can be wonderful. Whether in sunshine or in rain, the day begins in a festive mood; the bride aglow, knowing that this day will find her united forever to her knight in shining armor, the groom ready for the transition from bachelor to husband, the parents, sad at losing a son or daughter yet proudly admiring the adults they’ve become. It is a fairy-tale happily ever-after beginning; a wonderland of billowy white in a beautiful dress, pastel colors in bouquets of flowers, shimmering tears on smiling faces. The music swells, the attendants in the front of the church turn expectantly, awaiting the beautiful bride. The flower girl takes her first hesitant steps towards the altar, burst into tears, throws her basket of flowers across the aisle hitting a guest in the head, then sits down on the runner bawling her eyes out until an embarrassed mother runs to scoop her up and carry her kicking and screaming out of the church. The bride, still a vision in white, is no longer smiling. People begin to titter, and the smiling faces focused on her now have a look of pity in them instead of joy. The bride and her father proceed down the aisle, but she knows that the magic has gone from the moment. This will forever be the day of the flower girl meltdown.
You think that story is a little far-fetched? I can assure you it’s true. I know. I was there.
For a number of years now, I have been a soloist at church, and as such have had the opportunity to sing at many weddings. From my position near the altar, I can see everything that goes on, and because the music doesn’t start until everything (or everyone) is in place, I have seen it all. So in honor of this summer season of weddings, I would like to share with you a list of do’s and mostly don’ts for that special day.
1.Don’t ask anyone under the age of seven to be part of your wedding party. No matter how mature they seem, all hell can break loose when you ask them to walk the gauntlet of doom in front of hundreds of strangers. Young children have been known to: Throw up on the runner right in front of the bride. Throw up on the bride. Sob uncontrollably all the while walking sedately down the aisle throwing rose petals. Squirm, fidget, whine and whimper for the entire service. Escape from the attendants or groomsmen and run across the sanctuary eluding capture by two or more adults. Untie the rings from the pillow and watch them go rolling under the pews. Inform the guests in the loudest voice at the worst possible time about their need to use the bathroom right now.
2. Remember to have someone pick up Grandma. One wedding began forty-five minutes late because someone forgot who was supposed to get Grandma.
3. Make sure your Best Man has the rings with him. It’s not as bad if the best man leaves them back at the motel as it is if the groom leaves them in Rochester, NY where he and the majority of the out-of-town guests are from.
4.Don’t put the mother of the bride in charge of seating at the church. The mother at one wedding apparently didn’t like the way that the ushers were escorting guests to the pews, so she spent a great deal of time re-arranging the seating. She also refused to walk down the aisle until ALL of the invited guests were accounted for. The priest, deacon and musicians all almost walked out on this one.
5. Brides – keep you eyes on the minister/presider. Please don’t wave and carry on silent conversations with people in the back of the church, or your own wedding party for that matter. This is especially bad during the homily when the presider is trying to say something nice about you. Save the gab fest for the reception.
6. If you bring your own musicians, be sure they know the music… … and have brought it with them, have rehearsed with the organist, are familiar with the order of the service, and are not prone to break into tears at any sentimental point in the music.
7.Tell Aunt Millie and Uncle Walt they don’t have to follow the photographers around the church for that perfect photo. They might accidentally bump into a tripod…
8.Grooms – if you must carry that phone in your tux – TURN IT OFF. ‘Nuff said.
9. Brides, if you or members of your wedding party can't carry off a strapless gown, DON'T BUY ONE - please! Having a large contingent of females constantly hiking up the bodices on their dresses during various parts of the ceremony is not the lesson in Bridal Etiquette one would hope for. Not only that, but it's damn distracting as well.
I could go on, but you get the idea. A little common sense can make for a beautiful day. Oh, one more thing. Brides, if you must wear that “something old” keepsake bracelet and it has a lot of little pointy ends on it, have somebody else reach up to adjust your multi-layered tulle veil…
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