Sleeping Arrangements

It's funny how your brain can go from thought to thought seemingly all on its own and wind up at a destination far removed from where it was when it began wandering.  That said, I was watching a talk show this morning, and the hosts were discussing honeymoons in Niagara Falls.  It got me thinking of my own honeymoon almost thirty-three years ago in Cape Cod and Nantucket Island.  I was happily remembering the quaint and charming places we visited, the bike ride we took around the island, and the small but cozy bedroom in the B&B where we stayed (bathroom down the hall), when my mind came to the question "How did you and your husband decide on which side of the bed you would sleep?"

Now, for those of you who do not share a bed with a significant other, that may seem like a very trivial concern. You can sleep anywhere on the bed that you like.  You can sleep sideways across the mattress, on a diagonal, smack in the middle, or alternate sides on a whim But I assure you, in the majority of married households, where you sleep (and I'm talking about where in the bed.  If you're talking about where else in the house, well, that's a whole other set of circumstances) can be the difference between a good night's sleep or tossing and turning until morning. 

As you stand at the foot looking toward the headboard, I sleep on the right side of the bed, my husband on the left.  I don't remember how we wound up there, but I do know that I cannot sleep anywhere else. This arrangement has never changed.  Which side of the bed I sleep on is not influenced by proximity to the door, window, bathroom, wall, or screaming child, nor does it matter where in the room the bed is located or whether I'm at home or away.  The right side is my side. We tried changing sides once, but both of us were miserable, so the next night we changed back.  Just to feel closer to him, I'd try going to sleep in my husband's place when he was out of town, but in the morning I'd wake up back on my own side.

There must have been studies done on this facet of married life.  Somewhere in the vaults of some government bureau, university research lab, or on Google, there must be statistics, tables and graphs that show what percentage of men vs. women sleep on the left side of the bed. Psychologists have probably established profiles for left or right side sleepers. Pre-nuptial agreements probably have clauses in them regarding determination of sides for sleeping in the bed.  Right after figuring out how many children you want, which side of the bed do you sleep on should be the next major discussion for any engaged couple.

For almost thirty-three years, I have been sublimely happy with my side of the bed.  I know just how to tuck in the covers and fluff the pillows as I settle down for the night. My lamp, phone and alarm clock are all positioned precisely the way I like them. Most importantly of all, I know exactly how far to reach to give the left-side bed sleeper a goodnight hug.

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